Five Rules New Dolphins Coach Brian Flores Must Follow to Succeed in Miami

Coach Brian Flores
Coach Brian Flores Courtesy of the Miami Dolphins
Two years ago, the Miami Dolphins introduced coach Adam Gase to their fans. We here at New Times attempted to give him a glimpse into what Dolphins fans were all about, what they were thirsty for, and what to expect.

He didn't listen. He didn't provide any of the things we hoped he would. So he's now head coach of the New York Jets.

Now, we're offering new Dolphins head coach Brian Flores the same heads-up we gave hard-ass Gase. Here are a few rules Flores should follow if expects to succeed in Miami. The future is up to him. We're only trying to help.

1. Keep the Dolphins off TMZ. Before we talk about what fans want to see on the field, let's address what they don't want to see at all — their favorite football team on You would think this is assumed.

Between Bullygate and a coach snorting cocaine on camera at work, the Dolphins continue popping up on the celebrity gossip site and other media outlets where you don't want to be — unless it's to feature team community work on, say, Good Morning America.

Batten down the hatches, Flores. No one expects a Heat culture-style vibe installed right away. Just keep the logo off Dateline NBC.

2. Leave "the Patriot Way" in New England. If Brian Flores tries to bring the Patriots with him to the Dolphins, he'll be looking for a job before the 2020 presidential election. Many have tried to duplicate the New England way of things. Exactly zero have succeeded.

Unless Tom Brady and Bill Belichick are coming with him, Flores will be the next Patriots assistant to learn the hard way you can't import their style. Flores can utilize what he's learned with the Pats, but if he tries to replicate it, he will fail.

3. Look to the future of the NFL, not the past. Dolphins fans have seen enough of head coaches who think they can bring the 2001 Baltimore Ravens defense to Miami and win every game 16-9. Fans have also seen enough of Ryan Tannehill and passive offenses that are OK with punting the ball to gain 20 yards of field position. Those things don't win titles these days. Teams that are winning now either look to the future and innovate — or are the Patriots.

Jim Caldwell, a nearly 70-year-old offensive coordinator and ex-Detroit Lions coach, is apparently the man pegged with looking into 2020 and beyond for new exciting ideas that win games. We're not confident that will happen.

4. Understand where Dolphins fans are coming from before you get all pissy. Word is Brian Flores can get a little surly when things aren't going his way or media members question him. If he believes that Bill Belichick attitude will fly in Miami, he should review how being an asshole after losses worked out for Adam Gase.

Dolphins fans have grown accustomed to losing. We know what a 21-20 loss in September feels like. Don't rub it in. Flores should answer all the tough questions for Miami fans. They're owed a change after spending the last two seasons listening to Gase coach-splain bad decisions and close losses.

5. Build it the right way, no matter how long it takes. Contrary to popular belief, Miami Dolphins fans are patient. All-time patient, actually. So freaking patient they still tune in every Sunday even though the Dolphins haven't won a playoff game since Nokia was making the best cell phones.

Dolphins fans are willing to wait for the franchise to do it right. No more coaches playing veterans because they're well paid. Forget younger guys who aren't ready. Nix general managers unwilling to invest in the future because they may be gone. Basta ya with owners who won't let the soup cook.

Dolphins fans are looking forward to a rebuild. It's not a dirty word. 
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Ryan Yousefi is a freelance writer for Miami New Times, a lover of sports, and an expert consumer of craft beer and pho. Hanley Ramirez once stole a baseball from him and to this day still owes him $10.
Contact: Ryan Yousefi