Traffic is pretty bad down here in South Florida to begin with. Usually it's because of an accident, or rush hour, or simply because people want to slow to 15 mph on a 55 mph highway to look at a guy changing his tired on the side of the road.
But Thursday morning's traffic woes were thanks to a big-ass alligator who decided to saunter onto the middle of the road and just chill all, "PFFT. I'M AN ALLIGATOR. COME AND TRY TO MOVE ME OFF THE ROAD."
The 10-foot gator walked onto the middle of Australian Avenue in West Palm Beach shortly after 4 a.m. Thursday morning.
According to WPTV.com, the gator took its sweet time crossing the road, and may have been struck by a vehicle.
However, says the report, the gator seemed to be fine even after being challenged by an coming car.
Like a bawse.
This marks the third time a Florida alligator has made news in recent days.
On Mother's Day, an 8-foot gator walked straight up to a Parkland woman's front porch and made itself at home, probably with a tall glass of ice-tea with one of them tiny umbrellas.
The gator was eventually pulled away from the home by a reality-TV personality, because of course it was.
Paul Bedard, of Animal Planet's "Gator Boys," circled the animal and snatched it by the tail, all the while it snapped at him. The gator was taken to Everglades Holiday Park.
And last week, a suspect that was on the run from the police was bitten in the face by a gator.
Bryan Zuniga was pulled over in Pinellas by officers. He then fled his car and tried to hide behind a fence nearby a water treatment plant. That's when the gator attacked him, and bit him on the face.
Zuniga checked himself into a local hospital for treatment where he was eventually apprehended by police.
Animal experts say the sudden activity of alligators is due to breeding season. This is the time males come out of the water looking for a fine lady gator to make baby gators with. So, they're more active than usual.
But, an alligator that causes traffic delays, another gator that wanted to say "Happy Mother's Day" to some lady, and a crime-fighting alligator?
That's too much of a coincidence to us. We think they're just jealous of all the coverage great white sharks have been getting lately.
That's our theory, anyway.
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