Broward News

Florida Gun Sales at an All-Time, Record-Breaking High

Florida sure does love its guns.

So much so that's it's on pace to break some of its own records in gun sales.

According to figures done by the state, around 800,000 background checks for guns will have been conducted by year's end.

In 2007, that figure was around 400,000. HIGH FIVE, FLORIDA! LET'S GO SHOOT SOMETHING!

And why not?

When you have people running things who love guns or are pals with the NRA, it's not a shocker in the least.

Florida Attorney General Pam Bondi wants young people to be able to buy guns.

And Rep. Trey Radel wants to impeach Obama over gun-control laws.

Although Trey-Trey needs to stop doing all that blow before he can proceed with that one.

Just last year, Florida was found to have the most concealed permits in the U.S. -- more than a million and counting.

According to Florida Secretary of Agriculture Adam Putnam, people in Florida are really in love with the Second Amendment. But since you can't marry an amendment, the next logical thing to do is abuse the shit out of it and get yourself a piece of paper that says it's totally cool to walk around Winn-Dixie with a hand cannon hidden inside your pants.

And, according to WEAR ABC Channel 3, the number of gun sales was heavier at the beginning of 2013 after the debate over gun control went supernova following some tragedies in which people with guns went and shot and killed people without guns. You may have remembered hearing something about that.

Our theory: People were so afraid Obama will take away their guns that Floridians started to hoard them like squirrels hoarding nuts. Although it's tough to tell, since Florida has always been in love with its guns.

And really, it's not like Florida gun deaths are a thing that happens a lot or anything.

And it's not like people who used their guns to kill people without guns are free roaming the state and free to keep buying more guns, right?

Also according to that report, Black Friday is one of the busiest days for gun sales, because the absolute best time to buy a gun is when people are fighting over parking spaces and toys.

Pistolas in the air, errrbody!

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Chris Joseph
Contact: Chris Joseph