A Florida man walked into his home and found his female roommate hanging out in the kitchen.
The man didn't like seeing some dude hanging out with her, so he decided to wrestle the dude.
And, in the ensuing scuffle, the man bit off a chunk of the dude's ear.
But, no worries. The dude's gnarled ear will be totally fine, because the man took the piece of ear he bit off and put it into a coffee cup and poured creamer in it to preserve it. Like you do with a tooth!
Kenneth Thompson, 26, was arrested by Port St. Lucie police on an aggravated battery charge after he got into a tussle with his roommate's friend and bit a piece of the guy's ear off.
According to the report, Thompson arrived to his home intoxicated one night. His roommate, an unidentified woman, told police she was afraid of Thompson, who often acted as if the two were husband and wife.
The woman had asked a mutual friend of hers and Thompson over to hang out.
When Thompson got home, he lit up a cigarette. She asked him to put it out. He refused.
The roommate then went back into the kitchen to avoid Thompson.
Thompson then walked over into the kitchen and shoved the man, according to the arrest affidavit.
The two men then began to wrestle.
In the middle of the fight, Thompson bit down on the man's ear, ripped off a piece, and spit it into his hand before dropping it into a coffee mug, pouring creamer in it, and placing it in the fridge.
Thompson would later tell police he did that because he heard that's how people preserve teeth that had fallen out of their mouths.
He also told cops that the woman was his girlfriend and that the dude whose ear he bit off was his best friend. He told them he attacked the man because he was trying to "get into (the woman's) pants."
Thompson told police that it was "just a 'small piece.'"
He was taken to the St. Lucie County jail.