A Florida man got into a verbal spat with his girlfriend, so he went and did what any man would do in any circumstance where his lady just won't see things his way.
He took her grandfather's ashes and refused to return them until she paid the boyfriend some cold hard cash.
The amount the man was holding grandpappy's ashes ransom for? Forty bucks.
SO YOU KNOW HE MEANS BUSINESS.
According to a Crestview Police officers report, the man and his girlfriend, who had been dating for two years, got into a heated argument one day when she returned home from work.
The woman saw her boyfriend standing in her driveway as she pulled in. She told him he couldn't stay with her that night and asked him to leave.
An argument ensued.
During the brouhaha, the man told his girlfriend he had hidden her grandfather's ashes and wouldn't tell her where until she gave him $40. He then left.
No word on how the man managed to get his hands on the ashes, or why a seemingly arbitrary amount like $40 would be the end to all this. But there you have it.
Following the argument, the woman got into her car to track down the man. She eventually found him down at the probation office, where the argument picked up where it had left off.
But, unable to break the man's cunning scheme, she relented and agreed to give him 40 bucks for information on where her grandfather's remains had been hidden.
She returned and gave him in the cash.
The man then told her where he hid the ashes.
Holding someone's ashes for $40 doesn't seem to be a major a crime. It just makes you a major asshole.
Where the guy screwed up is, after the transaction was complete, he up and decided to strike the woman in the mouth with her house key. He also grabbed her arms and throat, the police report says.
That's when the cops were called in and the man was arrested on battery charges.