^
Keep New Times Free
4

Florida Man Responds to Eviction by Pooping on a Porch

Jorge Jonathan Cruz-Blanco was evicted from his home on Monday.

So he responded in the most reasonable way imaginable for a person who gets kicked out of his place of residence.

He went out and got a job.

Just kidding.

He dropped his trousers and took a shit on the landlord's porch.

Cruz-Blanco's 72-year-old stepfather, Kenneth Pangborn, was through the with 19-year-old's freeloading ways. Pangborn says that Cruz-Blanco had no job, didn't go to school, and was pretty much a useless pustule loafing around the house all the live-long day.

So Pangborn decided to teach the young punk a lesson with a little tough love and kicked him out of the house.

Cruz-Blanco did not respond well to this news.

He allegedly began to throw a major hissy, throwing things around the house and shoving Pangborn -- who is 72, mind you -- to the ground before storming out the house.

That's when Cruz-Blanco dropped trou, squatted on Panghorn's porch, and dropped a deuce.

Panghorn called 911, although we're not sure if he told the dispatcher that he was assaulted or that someone had gone Najeh Davenport at his front door.

Either way, when cops arrived, Cruz-Blanco tried to explain the heaping pile of human shit on the porch by telling them that he really needed to go to the bathroom. So, apparently, he couldn't just step over the old man he pushed and walked into the house to take care of his business.

However, police cuffed him and hauled him away for pushing an old man and not so much for the poop he made on the floor.

Cruz-Blanco was charged with battery on a person over 65. As of Tuesday, he was being held at the Land O'Lakes jail without bail, which is quite shitty.

follow Chris Joseph on Twitter




I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of South Florida and help keep the future of New Times free.

Keep New Times Broward-Palm Beach Free... Since we started New Times Broward-Palm Beach, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of South Florida, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering South Florida with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.

 

Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in South Florida.

 

Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in South Florida.