Florida Man Tried to Exorcise Demons Out of Elderly Girlfriend

A Florida man got into a big fight with his live-in girlfriend and decided that her being such a super nag was the Devil's work, so he decided to hold her down and perform an exorcism on her.

Sounds like a measured and reasoned thing to do in a situation like that.

According a Pasco Sheriff's report, David Edward Benes, 54, and his 80-year-old girlfriend apparently got into a brouhaha that led to Benes' hoping that Satan would be cast out from his lady during the fight.

Apparently, there's a lot of pre-Devil-purging legwork involved in exorcisms, because Benes took the batteries out of her phone so she couldn't call the cops, took her car keys, and even rigged the garage door so it wouldn't open.

Once all that was done, Benes began the exorcism -- against the woman's will, of course.

The exorcism started Monday night, and eventually Benes' girlfriend fell asleep, because the Power of Christ compelled her, but most likely because she's an old person.

Cops were called by someone (Jesus?), and when they arrived to the home of the couple, they found the woman sitting outside weeping. She also reportedly had been bruised and had scratches on her arms.

When questioned about that, Benes confessed that the two had a fight, but only because his girlfriend started it "because she is crazy."

Benes was arrested for domestic battery on a person 65 or older and for tampering with a witness and false imprisonment.

Records show he's been convicted of battery twice in Pasco County, and once he violated a domestic violence injunction.

So turns out Dave Benes is not so much an exorcist as he's just an asshole.

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