You know, with all the crazy things going down in Florida, such as a law that makes it perfectly legal for a person to shoot and kill another person because they feel threatened, and with all the internet cafés being shut down to keep them dastardly old people from gambling, and with people with serious medical conditions that can be alleviated only with marijuana having their homes raided by cops like they're the leader of a drug cartel, it's good to know our elected officials are out there tackling the truly important issues.
Like, for example, all that damned secret Islamic indoctrination upon our children in schools' textbooks!
Well, fear not, good citizens! For Florida Rep. Ritch Workman -- the same guy who bravely stood up for Floridians' right to throw little people around, because jobs -- is fighting the good fight to make sure kids don't learn about Islam as much as they learn about Jesus because, if you haven't noticed, the FCAT scores have dipped lately and that's because of history books that teach too much about a religion that we Americans barely understand, therefore automatically making it super scary.
WE MUST THINK OF THE CHILDREN.
Apparently a couple of Brevard School Board members are reviewing a ninth-grade Advanced Placement world history textbook that shows obvious bias toward Islam while completely ignoring the two major religions our children have hammered into their heads the second they are born -- Christianity and Judaism.
If kids really want to learn about Islam, the can just turn on Fox News. Simple.
Workman and some Jesus-lovin' folk from citizens groups have bravely spoken out against the textbook, which is titled Prentice Hall World History but might as well be called Mein Kampf.
On Tuesday, Workman and his peeps met before the Brevard School Board and read examples from the book that show a clear bias toward Islam.
Apparently, this book of pure evil devotes an entire chapter to the religion and teaches the poor children about how Islam came to be and about the building of the Muslim empire, while Christianity and Judaism are only referenced in small paragraphs here and there AS IF THEY DON'T EVEN EXIST MY GOD.
Workman also said that historic events in the book are not phrased well; for example, he says, the textbook says Jesus "proclaims" himself to be the Messiah, but very clearly states that Muhammad became a prophet.
Workman sees through your evil indoctrinating secret semantics, Prentice Hall World History writers!
"Our children deserve facts and accuracy," Workman declared. "Not history being revised for our own failure or desire to not offend one culture or another."
And how, Rit!
"No matter what the subject is, whether it's math, English, science, or world history, students need to have accurate, unbiased information," said one concerned citizen. "If textbooks are unbiased or incomplete, it's our job to fix that."
Don't you know the children hold school books sacred and do everything they say? This is why, to this day, many children still worship Zeus after learning about him in their ancient Greek studies! The whole system is brokennnn!!!
One teacher admitted that she noticed that the textbook on WORLD HISTORY AND TEACHING CHILDREN ABOUT OTHER CULTURES THEY MAY OTHERWISE NOT BE MADE AWARE OF focused a little more on Islam than the other two religions but that she has yet to hear a complaint from any student or parents.
The textbook itself, which shockingly does NOT feature a picture of Jesus or whoever the Jewish Jesus is on the cover, is not expected to be replaced for another three years.
So don't say Workman didn't warn us when our children come home talking about how awesome Islam is and that the other religions are totally uncool now, because they were taught that it is more important than the others because there were more words written about it in a book.
Personally, we hope Workman takes his textbook crusade even further and does something about all those penises that kids draw between the pages.