Navigation

Florida Republicans Don't Know the Difference Between New York and New Jersey

Before we begin, why don't you cue this one up. Now, there we go. So last week was the big lead-up to Super Bowl Sunday, and just about every piece of the cultural machine was calibrated in some way toward the Denver-Seattle head-to-head. Of course, this includes the political realm,...
Share this:

Before we begin, why don't you cue this one up.

Now, there we go.

So last week was the big lead-up to Super Bowl Sunday, and just about every piece of the cultural machine was calibrated in some way toward the Denver-Seattle head-to-head. Of course, this includes the political realm, where no one passes up an easy layup. For the Republicans at the steering wheel of the Florida House, the Big Game presented the perfect opportunity to dog some East Coast Dems.

As BrowardBeat pointed out earlier, the Florida House Republicans cooked up the infographic below. Titled "Games of the Week: New York vs. Florida," the piece compares the two states in a number of categories, like unemployment, job growth, and credit rating. By the Republican call, Florida has the advantage on every front. "KEY TO VICTORY: REPUBLICAN ECONOMIC POLICIES WORK."

But there's a bit of a problem here, if you know anything about geography... or sports... or spent any time last week paying attention to the news instead of sitting at your Gateway making a stupid infographic.

See, although the big game was billed as a New York event... IT WAS PLAYED IN NEW JERSEY.

METLIFE STADIUM IS IN NEW JERSEY.

NOT NEW YORK.

THEY ARE DIFFERENT PLACES.

Now, if you're the type of backwoods inbred who actually steers his or her life course to some midlevel staff job in Tallahassee, assistant blah coordinator blah of policy blah to something blah or other blah, you probably haven't seen much of the world outside the Panhandle. It would be like if I said Panama City is in Mississippi. See, now you're all mad, right? Damn, you are mad, bro.

It's probably worth pointing out that New Jersey is run by the Republican winning big in the douche category these days -- Chris Christie. The state is also in the tank, economically speaking, thanks largely to Christie's policies. So the irony here is that Florida Republicans are banging the gong for the exact agenda that is playing rough in the state where the Super Bowl was actually played.

Maybe, you're thinking, they realized this, and just made the chart anyway because of the overwhelming PR campaign labeling this the "New York" Super Bowl. To which we reply: Sure. Sure they did, buddy. Sure. Lotta effort went into that infographic, and why risk the embarrassment of anyone who knows their White Plains from their East Orange? No, this was just a stupid screw-up.

Send your story tips to the author, Kyle Swenson.



KEEP NEW TIMES FREE... Since we started New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of South Florida, and we'd like to keep it that way. Your membership allows us to continue offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food, and culture with no paywalls. You can support us by joining as a member for as little as $1.