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Former City Commissioner Not Too Fired Up About All This "Talk Like A Pirate Day" Nonsense

You may or may not know it, but today is officially Talk Like A Pirate Day.

It's silly, odd and slightly annoying, particularly with your co-worker walking around the office and saying, "Arrgghh!" all day like an asshole.

But, whatever, it's all in good fun. Certainly Lake Worth Mayor Pam Triolo seems to think so. She issued a proclamation Tuesday night declaring Wednesday International Talk Like a Pirate Day (even though it was already established nationally since 1995, but hidey-ho) and urging residents to celebrate in "a hearty, fun-loving way."

It's a whimsy silly little proclamation designed to bring some light-hardheartedness to the people of Lake Worth.

Well, one former city commissioner got all Debbie Downer about that and says that the mayor is being frivolous with her position in government and decided to speak her mind on all these pirate talky shenanigans.

In an email sent to current City Manager Michael Bornstein, former City Commissioner Jo-Ann Golden says that all this pirate stuff is an insult to the people of Lake Worth.

"In these times when there is so much turmoil, ignorance and killing," part of the email reads, "this effort to further dumb down our government should be rejected."

Golden added that pirates are no laughing matter, because modern pirates rob, murder and kidnap people for ransom -- unlike the pirates from the 1700s, who jumped on people's ships and started tickle fights. She also brought up yachtsman Peter Blake, who was fatally shot by pirates off of Brazil's coast in 2001.

All aboard the S.S. Bummerlady with ports of call to Dullsville, Blehtown, and Downersburgh!

In the email, Golden suggests that the mayor should have instead proclaimed September 17th Constitution Day, since that is the day Constitutional Convention delegates signed the U.S. Constitution.

Even though the 17th of September is a whole other different day than the 19 of September.

The mayor made the proclamation Tuesday night, saying, "The City of Lake Worth is known to possess a spirit of independence, high spirits and swashbuckling, all traits of a good pirate. It's fun to talk like a pirate by using words like Arrrrr, ye and bilge rat," much to the delight of the crowd.

But Goldman, and others like resident Lynda Mahoney, would have none of it.

Bornstein, who is himself a pirate lore enthusiast, responded to Goldman in his own email:

"If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide -- Gandhi. I'm so sorry you find this fun, silly proclamation anything more than that. I could easily become consumed with a sense of over correctness in almost everything involved in government. However, I refuse to become devoid of all the wonderful human emotions including, most importantly, humor."

In other words, chillax lady. No one is making you talk like a pirate today. The mayor was having a little fun and there's seriously way more important crap to be worried about than to get all stiff and super serious about something as arbitrary as meaningless pirate proclamation.

We would've also added "Go Arrrgh! yourself, you old bag." But that's just us.

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Chris Joseph
Contact: Chris Joseph

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