Fort Lauderdale Officials' Response to The Onion's Satirical Portrayal Is An Epic Fail

Satirical/fake news website The Onion released a satirical/fake news piece on Ft. Lauderdale on Thursday that is not sitting well with local officials. 

"Obama Speechwriters Unsure How They'd Praise Fort Lauderdale In Event Of Tragedy," is being met with sour grapes and bad jokes from the likes of Fort Lauderdale Mayor John P. "Jack" Seiler and City Manager Lee Feldman.

So they responded in kind. 

And failed miserably at it.

The piece -- as it goes with all things from the Onion -- pokes fun at Ft. Lauderdale with a fake news story on how President Obama's speechwriters would find it impossible to find any redeeming values about the city for Obama to offer as comfort and reassurance in case a disaster hit the city.

The article comes hard at Ft. Lauderdale with jokes about palm trees, spring break, retirement homes, and cheap hotels.

One of the gems in the piece:

"It is a 45-minute drive from West Palm Beach," Rhodes added. "So, that's a thing about Ft. Lauderdale."

As a result, city officials had to come out and retaliate (except that they didn't have to), and have decided to do so via an email statement with their own brand of satire and side-splitting humor by pointing out that the Sun-Sentinel won a Pulitzer and that the 80s called and bad onion puns.

"The Onion article brought tears to my eyes," said Fort Lauderdale Mayor John P. Seiler. 

Because when you slice an onion you get teary eyed, you see.

"For a news source with any shred of credibility to do a hatchet job on our great City without mentioning the Mayor and City Commission by name is an outrage. Furthermore, given that our local newspaper -- the Sun Sentinel -- just won a Pulitzer Prize for journalistic excellence, we are simply not accustomed to reading news stories written by an uninspired and unqualified news staff." 

"For a minute, I thought I was reading an historical piece," Seiler added. "Just a quick note to the Onion research staff: The '80s called. They want their description of Fort Lauderdale back."

Awwww yeah... Pulitzer Prize winning paper up in this bitch! Also, lame cookie cutter joke! THAT'LL LEARN YA, THE ONION. 

City Manager Lee Feldman added, "We were really hoping to be spoofed by the best fake news blog in cyberspace. Unfortunately, we'll have to settle for the Onion." 

"We were impressed the Onion knew how to spell Fort Lauderdale," he added. "Genuinely shocked that they knew how to spell Barack Obama. It just goes to show you that those overseas online journalism degrees are being put to good use." 

Whoa The Onion. You know how to spell? Well that's vexing! WACKA-WACKA!! 

We get it. Civic pride and all that. 

But to respond by apparently using one of Jay Leno's joke writers is not the way to go. You're not going to out-satirize The Onion

It's highly unlikely that Seiler and Feldman even said these things, which makes it worse.

Next time just get on Vine like the kids are doing these days and make a video with clown horn noises and people getting hit in the crotch by their kids swinging a bat. You'll get the same hilarious results by being hip! 

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