Lists

Fort Lauderdale's Ten Most Pervasive Stereotypes: True or False?

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10. Everyone has a yacht Yes, it's true. Fort Lauderdale is the Venice of America. And yes, it's the yacht capital of the world. It's probably the only thing Fort Lauderdale is the world capital of. And yes, it would be amazeballs if everyone in town owned a yacht. But, sadly, this isn't the case. Now, if you said, everyone wishes they had a yacht... or everyone likes to pretend that they own a yacht then, yeah, OK. Otherwise, not really.

Verdict: False. Though it would be really cool if true.

9. People are tolerant of everyone else The commissioners in this town have been fairly gay-friendly as of late (though the mayor needs help getting to that point). And Fort Lauderdale has dethroned San Francisco as the city with the highest concentration of gay couples in the United States. There are plenty of gay bars, there's Wilton Manors, and there's a palpable feeling of progressive thinking around these parts when it comes to being tolerant and accepting of everyone.

Weirdly, not so much for the homeless. The homeless are screwed in Fort Lauderdale. But that has more to do with the commissioners than the residents. Still.

Verdict: True. Though there is plenty of room for improvement.

8. The majority of the people here are snowbirds Oh, snowbirds. So. Many. Snowbirds. With their Yankee bumper stickers and their bad tans and their penchant for telling everyone within earshot how much better the Northeast is than South Florida even though they spend roughly 88 percent of their lives in South Florida, taking up our roads and cluttering our streets. Yeah, Fort Lauderdale has a crapload of snowbirds. But it's tough to give an empirical answer on if they make up the majority of people living here. We're gonna go with no. Only because they annoy the hell out of us. So, no.

Verdict: No. Now quit yer bitching and go back to your home to shovel snow and freeze your balls off.

7. Everyone goes to the beach all of the time Ah, the dream. But in case you haven't noticed, Fort Lauderdale is a growing sprawl that attracts young professionals. And those young professionals need jobs so they can rent a yacht on the weekends and pretend they own it. Unless you live within walking distance of the beach, then you're probably not spending most of your time there. Besides, parking at Fort Lauderdale Beach has become one of the biggest pains in the ass in the history of ass pain. Not to mention that there's always a riptide warning or beach erosion. And sharks. Don't forget all the sharks. So many sharks.

Verdict: Not true.



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Chris Joseph
Contact: Chris Joseph