Four Songs for Ben Carson

Lots of things have transpired between the first two GOP Presidential debates, things that most folks would never dream of seeing. And one of those things is that West Palm Beach neurosurgeon Ben Carson has been surging in the polls. In fact, he's actually lapping other Florida GOP candidates Jeb Bush and Marco Rubio — the two guys who were once upon a time the hands-down favorites to get the nomination.

According to the latest CNN poll, Carson is currently polling second with 23 percent, just four percentage points behind Donald Trump and a whopping 17 points ahead of Jeb Bush.

Carson has been riding a wave of support from dedicated supporters who have made up a pretty solid grassroots campaign. And, sure, he's a little nuts, can be incoherent, and has some weird views on homosexuality. But Carson has built his popularity on being a sort of Trump Lite — a guy who shoots straight, isn't a career politician, and has some really rabid fans.

So, as Carson enters Wednesday's GOP debate hoping to add his good showing in the polls, here are a few songs dedicated to the man who once compared Obamacare to slavery:


4. Western Conservative Summit 2015 Flash Mob

We start things off not so much with a song but with a flash mob made up of young Carson supporters that took over the Western Conservative Summit earlier this summer. Again, this isn't a song, per se, but it shows you what the other GOP candidates are up against. 

Back in June, about 150 members of the Young Conservative Leaders flooded an area at the summit and began a choreographed dance and celebration drenched in patriotism, enthusiasm, and mini American flags. All to the tune of American Author's "Best Day of My Life" (try getting that song outta your head now!). The flash mob also included a blue dog mascot thing, streamers, and Carson himself strolling in at the end, clapping his hands and taking in the moment.


3. Republican Rap Song

The song was written and performed by someone calling himself AspiringMogul who either doesn't know that Carson hates hip-hop or doesn't care. The song samples excerpts from some of Carson's speeches about education and the p.c. police. The song itself never mentions Carson by name, though the YouTube channel is named Dr. Ben Carson. Carson thinks hip-hop has been detrimental to the African-American community. Perhaps AspiringMogul's lyrics will change his mind.

Key verses:
"I'm pro-life/I don't believe in abortion."
"I'm conservative but don't hate liberals or Democrats..."
"Don't want no handouts/Don't need no reparations... racism still alive"
"See this is the new Republican Party/Not your grandfather"


2. Ben Carson for President Song

Admittedly, this little ditty doesn't have the same production values of Republican Rap, but it's catchy. But what else can you ask from a song composed on and for a Casio? Besides, the message is still on point. If you can understand what the hell that message is (again, the production value isn't that great). Still, much like Carson himself, the song is rambling and incoherent, which actually captures the heart of Carson's message about that thing in your life that you should think about in the ObamagaysAmerica.

Key verses:
"Ben Carson for president, you know he's on the ball/Ben Carson for president and justice for all"
"His [eye integration?] is good for the nation/Ben Carson for president herrburayhaylalerr??????"
"Ben Carson for president for 2016/His thothsaa-loo-loo-layy"


1. One Little Wee-Wee in America

This one wasn't written or performed by any of Carson's fans. It's actually a product of the brilliant folks behind the Bad Lip Reading of the NFL. After the first GOP debate, Bad Lip Reading did a whole bit on the candidates, and it's quite hilarious. However, the highlight of the bit was this song Carson sang. It's quite glorious.

Key verses:
"I see one widdle wee-wee/Every mouse has a weenie"
"And if we can catch a little mouse, man/We can see some little feet too"