George Zimmerman Goes Shopping for a Tactical Shotgun in Florida | The Daily Pulp | South Florida | Broward Palm Beach New Times | The Leading Independent News Source in Broward-Palm Beach, Florida


George Zimmerman Goes Shopping for a Tactical Shotgun in Florida

So, let's say you're George Zimmerman.

Wait, we take that back. (Sorry for the offense.)

Let's say you're pretending to be George Zimmerman in a highly hypothetical moment of conjecture. Better? Better.

And you first kill a child gripping candy and wearing a sweatshirt because -- egads! -- he's coming to get you. Then, in an incredible moment of the Florida justice system acting like the Florida justice system, you beat the murder rap.

Then -- because where else could you possibly go on this Earth? -- you go to Texas. And -- because what else could you possibly do in Texas -- you drive really, really fast while there are guns in the car.

But are there are enough guns? you wonder. No, there aren't, you think. Because you're George Zimmerman, and your truck doesn't yet have TACTICAL WEAPONS.

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Terrence McCoy

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