It looks like George Zimmerman has finally gotten his opponent for his upcoming
Gotta Keep Exploiting the Death of Trayvon Martin for My Own Financial Gain Celebrity Boxing thing he announced last week.
According to a TMZ report, it looks like DMX will be the guy Zimmerman steps into the ring with.
Celebrity boxing promoter Damon Feldman was all set to officially announce the matchup on Wednesday, but it turns out that Wednesday would have been Trayvon Martin's 19th birthday. So out of respect, there is no formal announcement at this time.
Because having Zimmerman cash in on the "celebrity" he gained for walking free for killing Martin is not at all disrespectful, you see.
DMX was chosen out of a reported 15,000 submissions and told TMZ that he would not only beat the crap out of Zimmerman but that he would then urinate on him.
"I am going to beat the living fuck out of him," DMX said. "I am breaking every rule in boxing to make sure I fuck him right up."
He then added, "Once I am done with him, I am going to whip my dick out and piss on him... right in his muthafuckin' face. Zimmerman is a piece of shit, and that's what he needs to drink."
The last part of that sentence is a little confusing (is pee poo?), but you get the gist of it.
Other "celebrities" who wanted to join in on this clown show included people like Lindsay Lohan's dad, Michael. Also, Baywatch actor Jeremy Jackson. Also, that is the saddest pair of sentences you'll read all day.
They should send Floyd Mayweather to the ring and tell George Zimmerman it's DMX. He won't know the difference.
— Ian Karmel (@IanKarmel) February 5, 2014
The boxing match is reportedly scheduled to be held March 1 and will be aired online and on Pay Per View. Some of the proceeds of it will apparently go to charity.
Zimmerman has said he has a specific charity in mind but won't reveal it for fear that organization would receive negativity from the media and people.
The match will last three rounds.
Just long enough for all of those who pay to watch this to watch their souls eek out of their bodies.
We Believe Local Journalism is Critical to the Life of a City
Engaging with our readers is essential to New Times Broward-Palm Beach's mission. Make a financial contribution or sign up for a newsletter, and help us keep telling South Florida's stories with no paywalls.