Hand Puppets and Sweaty Canadians: Photo Lowlights from Super Bowl Media Day

Photo by Tim Elfrink
The world's sweatiest Canadian TV reporter gets funky with the Saints.
To the unitiated, Super Bowl Media Day must sound like some outrageous backstage fantasy. Media and players partying together! Celebrities around every corner! Free buffet lunch!

Well not to worry, ignorant and uninvited masses. Riptide is here to shatter those dreams.

Imagine, instead, an airless room packed way beyond fire code with grotesquely sweaty  camera men and TV reporters pancaked with makeup screaming hysterically for attention, while dead-eyed football players recite dull cliches they memorized on the bus.

There are mustachioed hand puppets, airports-at-Thanksgiving-level security lines and insanely dressed Telemundo stars. Chris Berman is in attendance.

Be thankful, then, that we braved the ninth circle of NFL hell known as Media Day at Sun Life Stadium and came away -- barely -- with these photo lowlights. Click through if you dare.

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Tim Elfrink is an award-winning investigative reporter, the managing editor of the Miami New Times and the co-author of "Blood Sport: Alex Rodriguez and the Quest to End Baseball's Steroid Era." Since 2008, he's written in-depth pieces on police corruption, fatal shootings and social justice issues across South Florida. He's won the George Polk Award and has been a finalist for the Goldsmith Prize for Investigative Reporting.
Contact: Tim Elfrink