GOP presidential candidate Herman Cain -- or as Mike Tyson calls him, "The man who's been shoutin' the number nine in your TV" -- is scheduled to make four stops around South Florida on Wednesday.
Three of those events will be free, but the last one -- at David Rosow's Palm Beach home -- has a minimum entry fee that will set you back, of course, $999.
The free ones start at Little Havana's Versailles restaurant at 11:45 a.m., a place that was visited by another GOP hopeful, Michele Bachmann, around a month ago.
At 1:45 p.m., the Cain Train is scheduled to make a Broward stop, at the Wing Stop location on Sample Road in Coral Springs.
That one's being billed as a "grassroots rally," sponsored by the Broward Republican Executive Committee, which has put out a flier inviting people to "join our next President of the United States."
The last event before the $999 dinner is another rally at the Palm Beach County Convention Center in West Palm Beach at 5 p.m.
That event initially came with an entrance price of $50, but an updated flier from the Palm Beach County arm of his campaign says it's now free.
If you haven't gotten enough Cain in your life, here's some lip-reading interpretations of his speeches and appearances:
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