Hollywood Beach to Lose 800 Parking Spaces to Make Room for Margaritaville Resort Hotel

Just when you thought finding parking in Hollywood Beach was a complete and total nightmare, it's about to get worse!

And by "worse," we mean "abysmal."

Because come midnight on Monday, the parking garage located at Johnson Street, along with 200 other spaces, will be gone, all so the city can make way for the future Jimmy Buffett-themed Margaritaville Hollywood Beach Resort.

Construction will be wiping out the garage's 630 paces, along with the 146 spaces in front of the garage and the other 50 along Johnson and Michigan.

If you're doing the math, that comes down to roughly: HOLY CRAP THERE'S NOWHERE TO PARK! GAHHH!!

Desperate to not have people freak out, the city is trying to let everyone know to stay calm, all is well, by directing folks to other spaces on the beach. The city points out that people can park remotely, and then grab their bags, beach chairs, towels, umbrellas, coolers, and kids, and hop on a city trolley or water taxi to the beach, because that's not at all inconvenient in any way.

Meanwhile,the Community Redevelopment Agency is looking into building a parking garage in the old fire station at Nebraska Street and A1A. But who the hell knows when, or if, that will happen (never-to-in-five-years, probably would be our best guess).

Mayor Peter Bober wants you to look on the bright side, now that you'll have to leave at roughly 4:15 a.m. to find a parking spot on the beach on a Saturday or Sunday: A BRAND NEW HOTEL THAT YOU'LL LIKELY NEVER STAY AT YEEEEEEE!!

The city has been trying for years to build something on the five-acre lot on Johnson. And now it's got its project in the form of parrots, margaritas, and shitty music!

From the Herald:

To make room for the Buffett-styled Paradise -- complete with seven restaurants and bars, several pools, and a double FlowRider -- the massive garage, street lot, and sandy area that houses a playground and exercise equipment will have to go.

A FlowRider is one of those artificial surfing pools, because where else can you surf at the beach? Right???

Oh, and the sandy area with a playground that you could take the kids to is also going.

Because, commerce!

And what better time to get started on this thing than smack in the middle of summer!

Construction is expected to last 27 months, which is roughly about the time it'll now take you to find a parking spot on Hollywood Beach.

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Chris Joseph
Contact: Chris Joseph