How Could Florida Be the Most Stressed-Out State?

It seems that the farther from the ocean you are in this country, the more relaxed you are. Sounds counterintuitive, considering that beaches are our collective vision of paradise, and seaside communities are where old people go to decompress before they die. But hey -- science is science, or something.

After fiddling around with some figures, Movoto is warning you specifically not to let your parents move to Del Boca Vista to hang with the Seinfelds. According to the real estate blog, Florida is not a land of imagination and escape. In fact, it's America's most stressed-out state.

But how could this happen? The superlative is based on percentage of the population with a commute longer than 20 minutes, unemployment, hours worked, population density, percentage of income spent on housing, and percentage of population without health insurance. With 25.8 percent of us without health insurance and 11 percent of us unemployed, it's pretty easy to see how we ended up in the top spot.

So what's there to do, according to the blog? Apparently Georgia, California, and New Jersey are poor options too. Movoto suggests moving inland, where the other less-stressed-out states will cuddle you in their nonclammy embrace. Oklahoma, Nebraska, and Missouri are apparently good options, although North Dakota is reportedly our least stressful place to live.

The best thing ND has going for it is its low population density. But if we all move there because of the survey...

Wait. No thanks anyway. And yes, we're aware that we earned this distinction without the help of giant rats, disease-addled mosquitos, and the occasional shark attack, but we'll stick with this beautiful mess rather than move to Fargo, thank you very much.

In case you were curious, here are the stats Movoto compiled on Florida. Pretty depressing stuff:

Average Hours Worked: 38.5 Population Density per Square Mile: 352 Unemployment Rate: 11.3% Percentage of Income Spent on Housing: 23.6% Percentage Without Insurance: 25.8% Percentage of People With Long Commutes: 60.9%

h/t Movoto

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Allie Conti was a fellow at Miami New Times and a staff writer for New Times Broward-Palm Beach, where her writing won awards from the Florida Press Club and the Society of Professional Journalists. She's now the senior staff writer at Vice and a contributor to the New York Times, New York Magazine, and the Atlantic.