I don't know about you, but if I were planning to produce a radio talk show with a disgraced former Republican congressman whose pedophilic Instant Messages to a 16-year-old page had made headline news a mere three years ago, I don't think I'd call my new radio program "Inside the Mind of Mark Foley."
Because that's a mind inside of which nobody much cares to linger.
In fact, we remember too well exactly what's inside Foley's mind. It's a rare combination of inane pederasty and typos, a melange of dim whack-off jokes and adolescent sniggering. Cast your memory back, for instance, to this IM -- a document that still makes the skin crawl, as fresh as the day it was first pecked out on Foley's sticky keyboard:
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Maf54 (7:46:33 PM): did any girl give you a haand job this weekend
Xxxxxxxxx (7:46:38 PM): lol no
Xxxxxxxxx (7:46:40 PM): im single right now
Xxxxxxxxx (7:46:57 PM): my last gf and i broke up a few weeks agi
Maf54 (7:47:11 PM): are you
Maf54 (7:47:11 PM): good so your getting horny
Xxxxxxxxx (7:47:29 PM): lol...a bit
Maf54 (7:48:00 PM): did you spank it this weekend yourself
Xxxxxxxxx (7:48:04 PM): no
Xxxxxxxxx (7:48:16 PM): been too tired and too busy
Maf54 (7:48:33 PM): wow...
Maf54 (7:48:34 PM): i am never to busy haha
Xxxxxxxxx (7:48:51 PM): haha
Maf54 (7:50:02 PM): or tired..helps me sleep
The show, which threatens to premiere on WSVU 960 AM (out of North Palm Beach) on September 22 at 6 p.m., purports to offer an insider's view into Washington, D.C., politics and "the inner workings of how policy is made."
If you can't pick up the station, you can stream it at seaviewam960.com. 960 is an "Adult Standards music station catering to an older audience that is concerned with the current healthcare issue." Stress on the adults and on the older audience here. You'll witness the inner writhings of Foley's mind between sets of Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Barry Manilow, and Barbra Streisand.
I suppose that because this creep shows no signs of quietly slinking away, we at least have the assurance that he's finally communicating with his appropriate age group. Be sure to dial in with your health-care questions: Mark, I'm having trouble sleeping. What do you suggest?