"Pull him... pull him... pull him."
Then I said to a friend visiting from Florida's west coast, "What's wrong with that jackass? McKeon's got to pull Vargas."
It was August 31, heady times for the Florida Marlins. They had a half-game lead in the wild card race and were playing the best team in the National League, the St. Louis Cardinals. But the black-locked Jason Vargas, a solid young pitcher, was having problems. While the Marlins were being blanked, he gave up two runs in the third inning and another in the fourth. More trouble came in the fifth, when he gave up a leadoff single followed by an Albert Pujols triple.
That's it, I thought. It was time for Manager Jack McKeon to yank the kid, who'd already given up four runs and looked more than a bit peaked. Much more damage and the game's out of reach and the wild card lead goes away. You put in a new pitcher, you might catch lightning in a bottle and keep Pujols from scoring from third.
McKeon kept Vargas in the game. The next batter, Yadier Molina, stroked a sac fly to score the run, making it a 5-0 game. After a groundout, Vargas fell behind 0-2 on Scott Seabol, who singled the next sweet offering to left. All right, McKeon was going to pull him now, no question. The rookie didn't have anything. And the next batter was Hector Luna, who'd tripled off Vargas the previous inning.
Luna stepped up to the plate. Vargas stayed in the game.
I was pissed. When things go badly, it's usually indecent to get mad at the players, especially when their sweat is still drying on the ground. But when the overweight guy flapping his gums in the dugout ruins a game, you tend to get a little sore about spending that time and cash at the ballpark.
Anyway, Luna took a 2-0 gopher ball out of the park, making it six to nothing.
During an intense wild card race, you can't afford such idiotic mistakes. And McKeon, whom I've reflexively been calling "Jackass" ever since that game, made so many of them down the stretch that he personally destroyed any chance that the Marlins would make the playoffs.
That's right, I put it squarely on McKeon, the venerable baseball man who could do no wrong during the amazing 2003 World Series run. The same guy I really liked even after a less-than-stellar 2004 season. The same guy I didn't think should have been fired in July, when rumors were spreading that he was about to be booted from his underperforming team.
But then he really came undone in the heat of the wild card race. The once-endearing crustiness started sounding mean and petty. His constant cigar-smoking and gum-chewing suddenly seemed like a weird oral fetish. And his decisions, literally pitch perfect two years ago, began to trigger wicked flashbacks to Jeff Torberg, the IQ-wanting fellow he replaced.
You wouldn't know it reading the sports sections, though. The Sun-Sentinel and Miami Herald apparently have a policy against criticizing the old man. Dave Hyde, the Sentinel columnist with an incredible aptitude for wrong-headedness, has been stuporously defending the skipper the past two weeks. So has the Herald's usually sensible Linda Robertson, who wrote that McKeon has more "baseball knowledge in his pinkie nail than any of us amateurs do in our cerebrums."
That's fine. Everything that went wrong can't be pinned on the outgoing manager -- who was politely dispatched over the weekend and will continue as adviser to owner Jeffrey Loria -- certainly not Mike Lowell's power outage. Or Juan Pierre's slump. You certainly can't load all the dismal play of the bullpen or the injuries on Jack's back either. It wouldn't be fair.
But it's still McKeon's fault, if only because his asinine decisions didn't give the team a fair chance to win.
In proving this, I'm not even going to get into pitcher A.J. Burnett's crying jag last week, during which he criticized the manager for coaching "scared" and creating a negative atmosphere. Or mention that Al Leiter basically had the same complaint after his brief and baleful return to the Fish earlier this season. And I'm not going to ask how a team stacked with so much talent, a team statistically better than both the Astros and the Phillies, so "massively underachieved," as ESPN analyst Jeff Brantley put it.
No, I'm restricting the evidence to McKeon moves that are undeniably dunderheaded. Idiotic. Infuriating. Here's a sampling of three of them that occurred in the wild card race during the all-important month of September: