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Jake Long Is Fine; Dolphins Still Suck

Yesterday during Dolphins practice, left tackle Jake Long (aka "THE WARHAMMER") went down like a sack of hammers, continuing his yearly trend of getting injured just before the last game of the preseason. 

Long injured his right knee, and for a while there, the Dolphins feared he had done bad, terrible, no-good things to his MCL.

But, fortunately, it turned out to be only a sprain, and doctors say he'll miss up to three weeks

This is significant because his regular backup, Lydon Murtha, has been nursing a foot injury. 

Meaning Long's replacement is now rookie Jonathan Martin, who has so far been playing like a laundry sack of old ass.

With Long and Murtha out, Martin will be starting at left tackle this weekend during the fourth and final preseason game, against the Dallas Cowboys. With this in mind, neither should Ryan Tannehill. Because with Martin covering his blindside, Tannehill will get demolished into a cloud of fine dust right before our eyes.

With Long going down and Murtha walking around with one foot, the team's right guard, Artis Hicks, will now be the team's right tackle, moving John Jerry to right guard. Oh, and Hicks is playing with an injured neck. And last week, Eric Steinbeck retired.

For a team that spends all its drafts completely ignoring the skill positions and spending all their early picks on nothing but fat guys, there seems to be a serious lack of fat guys to play the line. Even before the injury bug swept through, Head Coach Joe Philbin expressed concerns about the quality of the offensive line. And if you've watched any of the preseason games so far, you should be expressing the same concerns.

Now, a mere two weeks before the regular season kicks off in Houston, the Dolphins will have to rummage through the waiver wire and hope to find a guy who isn't a complete comemierda and hope he doesn't (A) get hurt and (B) have our franchise quarterback blowed up before his career even begins.

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Chris Joseph
Contact: Chris Joseph

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