Politics

Jon Karl Can't Stop Asking Marco Rubio About the Presidency



What follows is a dramatic imagining of ABC journalist Jon Karl interviewing a blogger.



Yes, I know. My office is small.

Come again?

What's that?

Oh, you. Haha. No, I'm not running for president. Yes, of course I'm ruling it out. I'm a blogger! Of course I'm not running for president. Right now, I'm concentrating on being the best blog --

What's that?

No, I have not considered who'd be my running mate. Look, it's really kind of ridiculous to talk about this already.

Yes, I know. My office is very, very small. I'm a blogger. It doesn't pay much.

Why yes! I do like hip-hop! Thank you for asking.

What? No, goddammit! I will not be somebody's vice presidential candidate! What are you, sick?

I mean, look. Anything can happen. Like, you're want me to rule it out absolutely, but who could do that? No, I can't say there is an equal-to-zero chance that I won't be on the ticket for VP in two or six years. How could I? I can't say with absolute certainty that I won't wake up tomorrow and become a full-time aromatherapist or get abducted by aliens. I mean, life is surprising, right? But for God's sake, I'm a blogger. I write about puppies and Catholics. I have absolutely no intention of becoming president in the near future.

Now, as I was saying --

What's that?

Yes, I am aware my office is small. Now as I was saying --

What's that?

Yes, I am aware that the Oval Office is a lot bigger. Can we please talk about my fucking blog?

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Brandon K. Thorp