If you ever need to find 50-year-old Joseph Wilson, check the jails first -- he's actually in the St. Lucie County jail right now, marking his 100th trip to the slammer.
According to the Port St. Lucie Police Department, a security guard from a Bealls department store called the cops Thursday saying he watched Wilson stuff $174 worth of socks and underwear under his clothing and walk out of the place.
Wilson then jumped into a white minivan and told the driver to "take off" -- which the driver didn't do.
Police say Wilson then ran away, before a witness spotted him hiding in some bushes outside a Wendy's.
The cops eventually found him hiding behind a Dumpster behind a medical-supply store, according to an arrest report.
Police say they found the stolen socks and undies, and Wilson told them he was having "hard times."
And that, ladies and gentlemen, was Wilson's 100th arrest.
According to the police report, he's been arrested 37 times on felony charges, 47 times on misdemeanors, with 15 arrests for reasons unknown. Add in today and we've got 100, folks.
We immediately went to the cops to make sure this guy had really just been arrested for the 100th time, and sure enough, Thomas Nichols of the Port St. Lucie Police Department tells us it's true.
Out of all the moments spent in police-provided silver bracelets throughout Wilson's life, he's been convicted only of 35 crimes -- six felonies, 26 misdemeanors, and three unknown.
Still, getting off the hook around 65 percent of the time isn't that bad.
Wilson's been charged with two misdemeanors this time around -- retail theft and resisting recovery of property.
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He's currently being held on $20,000 bond.