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Juiced: A Week in One Gulp

Sample-sized appetite-whetters for the discriminating news consumer:

  • Joyce Tarnow, the woman who ran an abortion clinic and ranted at Pompano Beach Commission meetings, has been missing from local media these last few years, but Juice unleashed the hounds, who found her cooped up in a remodeled cottage in Dixie County and still active in political causes. As gadflies go, an incureable case.
  • KoffeeOkee in Delray Beach is ready for its cinematic closeup.
  • In what could only be an immaculate conception, New Times Editor Eric Barton gave birth to an angel.
  • Bounty hunter and local raconteur Cobra told of how he's got O.J. Simpson by the short-and-curlies. Or, technically, by the short-and-curly.
  • Out of sympathy for FPL's predicament of asking for $20 billion in new nukes at the same time as its being investigated for improper conduct with regulatory officials, Juice gave a video presentation, followed by a lecture to lull Floridians into an apathetic coma. And by Jove, it worked!
  • Maybe too well, given how one Florida Senator quit, another has become catatonic, and the newest one has yet to display brain activity. Quite a threesome.
  • The Pembroke Pines city manager played a spirited game of Dodge-ball with city workers and residents -- and he caught one right in the chops.
  • Juice totally discredited a nationally published article that appeared in the Sun-Sentinel and which claimed that white voters are abandoning President Obama. Rather, surveys show that nearly all races are abandoning him. You're welcome, Barack!
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      Thomas Francis

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