Broward News

Keeping Up With the Ramirezes: Let's Hope Manny Didn't Share With Hanley

Let's not panic, Hanley Ramirez admirers. Your star shortstop is healthy, and he's helped your team to three straight wins and to within two games of the Wild Card. Best of all, he's not related to Manny Ramirez, who apparently has been frosting his Wheaties since at least 2003. I realize that besides a surname, they both spend their offseasons in Weston and that... Uh-oh, now that you mention it, Hanley put on 25 pounds of muscle this offseason.

But remember, Manny Ramirez is not the sharing type. Why would he be any more generous with his drug stash than he is with tips? Besides, with Hanley's career on the way up, why would he take anything from a superstar on the way down? Let's call him clean and enjoy the season.

Broward property records show that Hanley Ramirez bought his first home in Weston in December 2006 and another in November 2008. Manny Ramirez has had a house there since June 2001. Lacking another more high-profile scapegoat, I move we blame him for Broward becoming the nation's pill mill.

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Thomas Francis