Sun-Sentinel

LandShark: Oh God It's Real

Ted Hutton at the Sun-Sentinel shot this photo after a Marlins game -- it's the new LandShark Stadium logo on the big board. I've decided that I'll never embrace this thing. Sharks and dolphins fucking hate each other, okay? What maniac would ever put Jaws and Flipper in the same tank? Sharks eat dolphins and dolphins sometimes headbutt sharks to death to save little Timmy (or something). One is a cold-blooded ancient predator that silently stalks the seas. The other is an adorable sea mammal that clicks words believed by scientists to mean, "I love you, one and all." It's just a bad idea.  

What's next, the Dallas Cowboys playing at Seminole Hard Rock Stadium? Or the Lions at Ringling Bros. Field? How about the Saints at Satan's Best Lil' Snack Cake Stadium? (Okay, that  last one isn't real. There is no snack food co. called Satan's Best. In fact, I defy you to find any major American company that indicates a direct connection to The Dark One in its name.)

Not to mention that LandShark is a fake microbrew Corona-knockoff made by Anheuser-Busch.

 

Then again, you should never expect much out of the corporate whores who lord over the great sport of football.

Jimmy Buffett, I curse thee!

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