LeBron James is a huge flopper. You know it. I know it. No question. The state rests its case. Sure, we now live in a world where the stout warriors of the NBA recklessly and ridiculously toss themselves on the ground like skinny Europeans on the pitch, but 'Bron has everyone else beat. Really, all your 'Bron fans out there who get all hysterical about how he's the GREATEST EVER, JORDAN WHO? need to reconcile yourself to the fact that your hero play-acts like a Sarah Lawrence drama major. Flop flop floppity flop.
At least the kids have a sense of humor about it. LeBroning is the new craze in high schools, or "the action of throwing yourself to the floor after a light brush by another player, person, or animal. Followed by an angry facial expression claiming it is not in any way your fault that you are on the ground."
It's pretty hilarious.
(Kendrick Lamar jams are the official soundtrack for LeBroning vids)
This last one is precious:
Anyway, seeing how 'Bron has the most mediated and massaged corporate image of all time, don't expect him to take this meme lying on the ground (see what I just did there?).
The folks at LeBron Inc. are no doubt scrambling right now to put together some stunt or shoe commercial or public appearance that will cash in on #LeBroning, something that will show that no, hold on, no one is making fun of LeBron here, no no, he's in on the joke, see? He's not being mocked, he's got a sense of humor, you need to not be so serious, LeBron haters, etc.
This is a guy who hasn't done anything off the court since he was 16 years old that hasn't been workshopped by a roomful of marketing professionals. I bet he'll LeBron a team member in the background while Bosh is giving a postgame interview on the court in the next week. And everyone will be like HAR HAR HAR FUNNY FUNNY FUNNY, instead of thinking, YOU SHAMELESS UNORIGINAL CORPORATE SHRILL, CAN'T YOU JUST BE SATISFIED BEING THE BEST BASKETBALL PLAYER EVER? WE DON'T HAVE TO LIKE YOU LOOK AT KOBE. Anyway, that's what I'll be thinking.
LeBron's a ridiculous flopper. People are now making fun of him for it on the internet, like Tebow's sacrosanct head bow. Get over it, 'Bron.
Send your story tips to the author, Kyle Swenson.