Keep New Times Free

Man Arrested for Stealing "Super Sucker" From Sex Toy Shop

Alexander Marcelino Perez needed a job, so he walked into Spencer's -- a sex toy and novelty shop in Bradenton -- and asked for an application.

But, joke was on Spencer's, because Perez wasn't there to apply for a job.

He was there to get his rocks off.

Namely, by swiping the merchandise. 

Namely, a "Super Sucker" masturbating device. 

But, unfortunately for Perez, he was caught.

According to a Manatee County arrest report, Perez, 19, wandered through the store before grabbing the "Super Sucker" and stuffing it into his pants (where else would you put it??).

Perez reportedly removed the adult pleasure device from its packaging before putting it in his trousers.

However, the store's loss prevention officer had his eye on Perez the whole time and grabbed him before he left the store without paying for the merchandise.

Also, yes, a sex toy shop has a loss prevention officer.

Perez was charged with misdemeanor theft and is being held in the Manatee County Jail in lieu of $120 bond.

The Super Sucker (this thing here), in case you haven't figured it out by the name, is basically a device for masturbating and retails at $16.99.

The product is described as "the masturbator with a real-mouth sensation!" And, "Our Super Sucker is ideal for guys that need extra stimulation to satisfy their cravings."

Kids nowadays.

In our day, we did this sort of thing for free, with a sock and a Victoria's Secret catalog. And, most important, IT KEPT US OUT OF JAIL.

(Also, embarrassment.) 

I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of South Florida and help keep the future of New Times free.

Keep New Times Broward-Palm Beach Free... Since we started New Times Broward-Palm Beach, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of South Florida, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering South Florida with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.


Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in South Florida.


Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in South Florida.