Damian Gingerich, 30, of Hollywood, saw an idling car outside Lalani Grocery at 2412 Taylor St. So he decided, what the hell, I'm gonna steal it.
According to police, the owner of the car, Shayla Marie Briggs, came out of the store and, to her horror, saw some dude sitting in her car ready to take off with it.
To make matters worse, Gingerich looked right at Briggs and smiled at her. He then revved the engine before speeding off, taunting Briggs as he got ready to speed away in her vehicle, according to the police report.
Then, because he hadn't douched up the crime enough, Gingerich started doing doughnuts in the parking lot -- which is basically rotating a car in a circle at high speed while simultaneously stepping on the brakes to create smoke and friction with the tires to create a doughnut-shaped skid-mark pattern of burnt rubber.
But, because karma hates douchebags, things went badly for Gingerich soon after.
Police say they found Briggs' car in an accident not too far from the store. An officer found Gingerich several blocks away from the accident scene, injured and shaken up, with Briggs' car keys still in his hands.
Nice driving, hotshot.
Two people in the other car he smashed into had to be taken to the hospital with injuries.
Briggs ID'd Gingerich, and he was booked into the Broward County Jail.
Gingerich has been arrested before, on counts of driving down the wrong side of the road and operating a vehicle without a valid driver's license.