Adam Manuel Lee Raicies, of Tampa, was in court at a 9 a.m. Monday to go before a judge and be sentenced for giving false information to a law enforcement officer.
Raicies, 25, was given probation by Circuit Judge Dick Greco.
Because he didn't want to spend any time in jail, and because he clearly didn't understand that "probation" meant he wouldn't spend any time in jail, Raicies got belligerent and refused to fill out his court papers.
Judge Greco then threatened to throw him in jail for real this time for contempt, if Raicies didn't calm his shit and get with the program.
That's when Raicies thought of another brilliant plan: RUN.
Two cops and a couple of bailiffs took off running after Raicies, who made his way down the hall of the courthouse annex.
Raicies was able to make it to the elevators. That's where he probably started pressing the "down" button maniacally to no avail. Those public building elevators are crazy slow, bro.
Three other cops finally caught up to him.
But Raicies wasn't done unveiling his master plan to stay out of jail.
As they went to grab him, Raicies struggled and then punched officer Josh Baar square in the face, according to the Hillsborough County Sheriff's Office.
Barr suffered a minor cut to his lip.
The cops took Raicies right back before Judge Greco, where he was charged with assault on a police officer and resisting arrest without violence which are, of course, ALL JAIL-ABLE OFFENSES.
Raicies is due in court Wednesday for a contempt of court hearing.
We're sure we haven't heard the last of Raicies, who is probably -- at this very moment -- hatching his next plan to avoid jail time, like, for instance, setting the building on fire. How are they gonna put me in jail if it's burnt? he's probably thinking.