Evidently there's a sticky-fingered hustler out there who has a taste for only the finest spirits. That, or just some poor smuck had a hot date for New Year's Eve this year and was desperate to impress. Whatever the reason, someone rang in 2014 with a high-priced liquor store snatch that has now occasioned a manhunt.
Hennessy Paradis Extra Rare Cognac is the booze in question, as in "they wanna know who's my role model / It's in a brown bottle," to quote the Bard. The stuff retails at $980 off the shelf (!!!), making it one of the more expensive cognacs you can get your hands on.
According a release from the Broward Sheriff's Office, at around 6:24 p.m. on New Year's Eve, a "white male, approximately 5'9", about 175 pounds, with short, black hair" wearing the standard issue white male get-up of "blue shirt, jean shorts, black shoes and glasses on his head," walked into the ABC Wine and Spirits in Oakland Park.
From the security cam video, you can see he's trying to pull the old "talking on cell phone cover." According to police, this guy waltzed into the store on N. Federal Highway, slid open the glass case where the Hennessy was held, put it under his shirt, and waltzed right back out.
The BSO release dubbed the guy the "Cognac Burglar," which is actually pretty catchy. Yeah, this was probably a one time bone head move, but if this guy turns out to be some super villain who only targets wallet-busting cognac, we're going to have a lot of more fun around here in the local news biz. Hey, a newsman can dream, can't he?
Send your story tips to the author, Kyle Swenson.
Keep New Times Broward-Palm Beach Free... Since we started New Times Broward-Palm Beach, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of South Florida, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering South Florida with no paywalls.