A few weeks ago, Marco Rubio was asked by GQ how old he thought the Earth was in one of them uppity gotcha questions the lamestream media love to throw at Republicans.
Rubio's answer was, "I'm not a scientist, man." Then he rambled on about how the age of the Earth was a furtive mystery that has eluded man for centuries and can't be pinned down by no scientists.
"At the end of the day, I think there are multiple theories out there on how the universe was created," he said. "And I think this is a country where people should have the opportunity to teach them all."
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Today, Rubio sat down with Politico's Mike Allen at a Playbook breakfast and told him that, yes, he knows that the Earth is, in fact, 4.5 billion years old and that the whole multiple theories theory was really just a reference "to a theological debate."
"There is no scientific debate on the age of the Earth," Rubio told Allen. "It's established pretty definitively; it's at least 4.5 billion years old."
But just like Rubio is no scientist, man. He's also no theologian, bro.
"I'm not a theologian either," he said. "To the extent that there is any kind of debate about the age of the Earth scientifically, I'm not in a position really to mediate that. But on the theological debate, the theological debate is how do you reconcile what science has established with what you may think your faith teaches."
Rubio said that he still believes God created the universe, even if the Earth isn't actually 6,000 years old. But, according to Rubes, it's possible to believe in creationism as well as science.
"Science has given us insight into when he did it and how he did it," he said. "The more science learns, the more I'm convinced that God is real."
The more I tell myself this doughnut is broccoli, the more I want to shove a dozen of them into my face.
Rubio reiterated that he believes that homosexuality is a sin, because science has never delved into that issue.
He also took all the Godscience talk to remind everyone of his opposition to abortion rights.
"I wish there were more folks in this town who are deeply committed to science and the belief in science [and] would not ignore that scientific fact," he said. "They're pretty brave about saying the age of the Earth, but they don't want to say when life begins?"
So, to recap the age of the Earth is one of the great mysteries except that it's definitively 4.5 billion years old, and that many theories should be taught, even though science is good because it proves that God is real, and it's OK to not believe in science all the way, except for when science says that you're a baby killer if you support abortion rights.
Everyone got it now?