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Marco Rubio to Antigay Group: Morals Are at Stake; God Should Be in Government

Marco Rubio hates The Gays. Well, he doesn't hate them as much as he doesn't want them getting married to each other, or being able to fight off workplace discrimination, or adopting children, and pretty much getting any other right nongays get across the board.

So, Rubez was a natural choice to gave the keynote address at the Florida Family Policy Council fundraising dinner over the weekend.

And, as expected, it was filled with bigotry and nonsense about religious freedoms being attacked and values and morality and other meandering crap that has nothing to do with making America anything other than a GAY FREE nation.

See also: Marco Rubio Remains on the Wrong Side of Gay Equality

The FFPC is headed by John Stemberger, the man best-known for trying to keep the Boy Scouts from allowing openly gay members.

The group also offers help on its website in case you want to pray the gay away.

In addition to not wanting the Boy Scouts to be filled with The Gays because it would lead to a rampant string of sexual abuse in the group, Stemberger has also said that being gay is an "artificial, social construct."

He's also said that the only reason people are gay is because it's hip.

Rubio spoke to a raucous FFPC crowd that both definitely wants to see him become the next president and definitely hates the shit out of gay people.

He stepped to the mic, and then troglodytic nonsense began spewing from his facehole for 22 minutes, such as when he said, "The moral well-being of our nation is our business. It's everybody's business. The debate we should be having isn't whether or not we have a right to talk about values and morals in the public square; the debate we should be having instead is which values and morals our nation should focus on."

Helping poor people get affordable health insurance? Not a value or a moral. Giving working families a tax break while taxing multimillion-dollar corporations? Nope. Not a value or moral.

An adult person wanting to marry another adult person of the same sex, then wanting to build a loving family by adopting unwanted babies and being able to work for a living without fear of being punished simply because they're gay? WHY, THAT'S IMMORAL AND SANS VALUE AND SHOULD BE DISCUSSED IMMEDIATELY.

Rubio also said that The Gays are all about murdering the American dream in the face with all their gayness.

"The American dream cannot be saved unless our people have the values they need for success," he said. "They cannot be taught by government, and they will not be taught by the tornado of entertainment content and media messaging swirling around our children every day."

The media, TV shows, and government can't be teaching our kids about stuff because that inevitably leads to gayness!

But Rubio saved the best for last, with this whammer of a point:

"We hear about keeping God out of our schools, keeping God out of our politics, keeping God out of other people's lives," Rubio said. "This is a ridiculous debate, because God is everywhere at every time."

Yes, debating the basic American notion of separation of church and state and not forcing kids to learn about religion like, say, the Taliban does, is completely ridiculous!

The "God is everywhere" argument wins every time. Hands down. It's like paper beats rock!

While Rubio spoke, someone yelled out that he should be president.

But this is a man who has openly admitted that his decisions as a U.S. senator are based on his religious beliefs.

Meaning that the only thing between Marco Rubio and a possibly life-altering law that would be for the betterment of millions will always come down to whether Jesus is cool with it or not. Also, small government.

But hey, The Gays are all about an America that allows one to exist without the government meddling in how they live their lives.

So they're really not that different from Rubez and the FFPC people after all!

Awwright, America!

Send your story tips to the author, Chris Joseph.

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