Metaphor Alert: Merry Christmas Arrested in Boynton | The Daily Pulp | South Florida | Broward Palm Beach New Times | The Leading Independent News Source in Broward-Palm Beach, Florida


Metaphor Alert: Merry Christmas Arrested in Boynton

Just because your name is "Merry Christmas" doesn't mean you can go resisting arrest during the holiday season. That's allegedly what happened in Boynton Beach, where a 44-year-old woman by that name -- who probably grows irritable every year at this time -- came out of her home to shout at a woman who was being interviewed by police.

Naturally, this episode is hurtling toward viral status. It's already appeared on MSNBC, and you can expect it to be on Drudge by day's end. For news aggregators, this is the closest it gets to a Christmas miracle.

But while a great deal of credit belongs to Christmas herself and

to the police officer who threw her in cuffs, let's not forget the contributions of serious news gatherers like Tory Dunnan of WPBF, who faced the terrifying prospect of filing a live report on this arrest yet managed to keep a straight face. A true pro, Dunnan also showed remarkable restraint avoiding the predictable punch lines you'd expect from a local newscast vying for web hits.

That report would have started something like this:

"Here's a holiday story that only a Grinch would enjoy..."
And it would have ended something like this:
"... This is one Merry Christmas that may not have a 'Happy New Year.'" (Pause for effect.) "Back to you, Kristin."

KEEP NEW TIMES BROWARD-PALM BEACH FREE... Since we started New Times Broward-Palm Beach, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of South Florida, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Thomas Francis

Latest Stories