With two pre-season games left to play, the Dolphins still have a lot of unanswered questions lingering like a drunk old man who won't leave the bar.
Ryan Tannehill wonders who he'll be throwing to. Joe Philbin wonders if any of the bubble players will step up and earn a job. Jeff Ireland wonders if any and all players' mothers are dirty, dirty whores. Lots of questions. Few answers.
The third pre-season game is widely accepted as the final-dress rehearsal before the start of the regular season. So what we'll see tonight is what we'll see come September 9 when the Fins open the 2012 season at the Houston Texans. If it's anything like their past two pre-season games, we're royally dicked.
1. On The Bubble
This is the time for dudes who haven't been all that impressive to step up and earn a spot, or else face the prospect of being cut and having to go back stocking the produce aisle at Publix with cantaloupes. Marcus Thigpen is trying to earn the kick-returner spot, while Austin Spitler is looking to secure a job as a back-up linebacker. It's both fun and depressing to behold. With all the pressure on to make the final roster, we could see guys having big games, or completely shitting themselves as they buckle under the pressure.
2. The Offensive Line
The sack of old lady diarrhea known as the offensive line has been putrid this pre-season. What an excellent time to throw in our rookie franchise quarterback and watch him get mauled like a pack of hyaenas taking down a baby gazelle. If Ryan Tannehill's career gets fucked by his lack of stand-out receivers and this awful offensive line, we're literally going to start to see Dolphins' fans faces melt off their skulls like the Nazis at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark. Jeff Ireland and his brain trust have spent every draft taking large fat guys to put on their line, and not a single one (save for Jake Long) is worth dick. So, to recap: Ryan Tannehill is fucked.