We're talking about an actual football game that happened last night on the football field at Hard Rock Stadium, which sits atop an Indian burial site that probably has nothing to do with the franchise's long-term bad luck and overall failures.
We're talking about the Miami Dolphins playing the Atlanta Falcons in the first preseason game of the 2019 season. That happened, and there was news. Well, technically, the Dolphins played, and we get to talk about it now. They beat the Falcons 34-27.
Gameday!!! pic.twitter.com/Fr9TtTx8NW— Javier A Toledo (@toledojavi) August 8, 2019
Here's everything you missed if you were too busy canceling your Equinox and SoulCycle memberships to catch the Dolphins' first of four fake games:
2. Kenny Stills is still kneeling during the National Anthem in peaceful protest of police brutality and racial injustice. In light of him calling out team owner Stephen Ross for planning a fundraiser dinner for President Donald Trump, you had to know Stills wouldn't make last night the night he decided to end his silent protests.
Kenny Stills kneeling during national anthem. Next to number-32, Kenyan Drake pic.twitter.com/kTQGRu2L1s— Clay Ferraro (@ClayWPLG) August 8, 2019
3. The Dolphins' first-string defense did not look great. When the Falcons' second-string offense is able to drive 90 yards down the field on its first drive against what amounts to the Dolphins' first-string defense, well, that's not great. Outside of a few new cornerbacks you've never heard of (see: Needham), the Dolphins had their familiar names out there on the first drive. It did not go well.
matt schaub just drove the falcons 90 yards for a touchdown...— josh houtz (@houtz) August 9, 2019
Matt Schaub and the Falcons marched right down the field — after the Dolphins started the game with a field-goal drive — and stuck it in the end zone, virtually untouched. Things got better on the second drive, though, as Dolphins defensive end Nate Orchard sacked Schaub on third down, forcing a Falcons punt.
4. Round 1, Ryan Fitzpatrick versus Josh Rosen, goes to Rosen! Fitzpatrick had a pair of nice scrabble plays and short passes on the Dolphins' first drive that led to a field goal. That was it, though. Fitzmagic finished a very preseason-ish 2-for-5 for 20 yards.
Josh Rosen to Preston Williams pic.twitter.com/cASvzoMeNq— Ian Wharton (@NFLFilmStudy) August 9, 2019
Rosen entered on the third drive of the game, scrambled for his life, threw up some prayer passes that were answered, and ended the drive by handing off to Kalen Ballage for a two-yard touchdown run. It was sloppy and at times terrifying but, in the end, successful. A nine-play drive for a touchdown on your first drive as a Miami Dolphins quarterback is about as good as it gets on paper.
Then, later in the second quarter, Rosen threw an ugly interception deep in Dolphins territory that the Falcons returned inside the Dolphins' 15-yard line. It was a reminder that Rosen was traded to the Dolphins for a reason — because he was horrendous in his rookie year.
But then Rosen finished strong! He ended up 13-20 for 191 yards, with one interception. Sure, he looked bad at times, but overall, he had some moments and deserves a shot with the starters.
The Dolphins may have found themselves a new star. And they played a real-life football game — one they won. A score of 1-0 seems like a success. Football is back!