Sports

Miami Heat Players Get Their Championship Rings, Take Down Celtics

The Miami Heat kicked off the 2012-12 season last night by first getting its championship rings and then by sticking a foot into the Celtics' assholes.

'Twas a glorious night indeed.

And while traditionally ring ceremony games have been a snoozer, mainly because the team getting the rings were still smelling of booze, champagne, and strippers, the visiting team would blow the champs out in their own building.

(This happened in 2006 when the Heat got its rings and lost by 44 points to the Chicago Bulls. James Posey came out onto the court with a stripper still attached to his face. True story. Look it up.).

But there would be no championship-ceremony hangover on this night. This night was all about taking care of business, beating the Celtics 120-107, and reminding the world that they had better prepare their anus.

Again.

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Chris Joseph
Contact: Chris Joseph