Palm Beach News

Michael Jordan Hates Florida's Slow Golfers, So He Wants to Build His Own Course

Dad jeans fashionista and former NBA godhead Michael Jordan has been living quietly as a South Floridian since setting up shop in Jupiter in 2010. His Airness' retirement has included watching his terrible NBA team, puttering around his 11-room mansion, and a lot of golf. A lot. But that last activity has been a source of existential anguish for Jordan. has a report out this week that Jordan can't effing stand the slow pace of play at his fancy-pants Palm Beach County country club -- so much so that he's thinking about building his own course.

Jordan belongs to the Bear's Club, the Jupiter subdivision where his $12.4 million palace is situated. The club has only a handful of members and includes a $90,000 initiation fee. But Jordan is reportedly not happy with the ass-dragging olds who play at the club. A source tells

"Michael likes to play fast and he can't stand it when people won't let him through," said a golf-industry insider who knows Jordan and who has spoken with several Bear's Club's members. "That happens enough out there that he's gotten fed up."


"He just steps up, hits, chews your ear off with smack talk and off he goes," said a source who has played with Jordan. "If he knows the guys he's with, he will not even wait. He'll drive up to the green as you're back in the fairway hitting. And if it's up to him, his foursome will finish in two hours and 40 minutes."

MJ's answer to this is to start his own golf course. He's reportedly pursuing a piece of land south of the Medalist Golf Club, which counts sex-maniac and sometimes-MJ playing companion Tiger Woods among its members. The idea is to get a big-name course designer signed on to the project, then open up the club to an exclusive cut of golfers who don't bullshit around when it comes to working through the course.

Seriously. Michael Jordan is so rich and ego-bloated that he can basically circumnavigate life's little annoyances by tossing stacks of money around. Next up, Jordan is reportedly working on his own Starbucks store where the drive-through line is always open, a TiVo that mysteriously never shuts off, and his own I-95 that is clear at rush hour.

We're guessing His Airness' golf club will have a pro-jean-shorts dress policy.

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Kyle Swenson
Contact: Kyle Swenson