- Two dogs, two men. Then, suddenly -- one dead dog, one hole in the leg.
- If you recall the hipster bandito caught on camera preying on a Boynton Beach Bank of America last week, you can sleep easy knowing he and his fedora (trilby, whatever) won't be making his ham-fisted withdrawals at your branch anytime soon. The robber, 18-year-old Andrew Wright of Palm Beach Gardens, was turned in by his own father over the weekend. Also busted was 24-year-old Michael Jeczalik, whose folks similarly called police... after they saw their son and Wright "banging out a bank-robbery note together."
- This headline has South Florida written all over it: "Murder suspect charged with attempting to hire hit man from jail." One can just imagine the righteous indignation, coupled with the sting of betrayal: "What! You mean the guy I trusted to kill four witnesses to my wife's murder was an undercover police officer?" The audacity. The unmitigated gall. What should have tipped off Munawar Toha, suspected in the April 5 murder of his wife, was the bargain-basement pricing involved in his little witness-removal program.
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- Clearly not falling in the stupid category is this tale in the Miami Herald that carries a palate-cleansing headline designed to drive the dumbness away: "Trapped manatees rescued from dead-end love affair." What's funny is that it wasn't a pair of star-crossed sea-cow lovers who ended up in "a canal that was no longer navigable." It was a whole mess 'o manatees. Actually, it's a feel-good story with a really happy ending, as a Florida Fish and Wildlife spokesman recounts a nine-guys/one-girl manatee humpfest he saw last June. "Not an uncommon thing," he said. Hey, who are we to judge?