Morning Juice: Fear Broward's New Child Teacher, Fidel Succumbs to Internets

The president falls prey to the Vulcan mind meld.

The newest teacher in Broward County schools is an 11-year-old child prodigy. Some might say that Adora Svitak is an inspiration to children everywhere because she has already taught college classes, appeared on CNN, published a book, taken over the Ukraine, and assembled the world's largest Pokémon collection. But I say: fear Adora. Fear her like you fear The Rapture. Because Adora Svitak is a sign of how things have changed under President Obama, who is ruled by the kids and their Backberries and such.

After the jump, Fidel Castro also succumbs to the kids and their fancy Internets.

Castro's Death Note Just a Joke or Something, Brother Says

Just yesterday, Fidel Castro penned an online column that reportedly said he wouldn't be around long enough to see President Obama's full term in office. Well, little brother Raul apparently thinks Fidel doesn't know what he's talking about. Raul said yesterday:

"Now you know that Fidel is fine," he said, adding that his brother spends days "exercising, thinking and reading a lot, advising me, helping me."

It goes without saying here that this is what happens when Adora Svitak and her fellow children force upon our leaders the Internets, Blackberries, and universal remote controls. Fidel didn't mean to say he wouldn't make it to the end of Obama's term. What he meant, if I'm understanding Raul correctly, is that he'll be reading a book on the stairmaster for the next four years. He'll be safe there, at least until Adora Svitak and her comrade children invade.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.


All-access pass to the top stories, events and offers around town.

  • Top Stories