Morning Juice: Jesus Saves Clerk; We're Number One! (in Foreclosures)

Rise and shine; shake the sleep from your eyes. Or, alternately, wakey-wakey, eggs and bakey: There be news bulletins richocheting about.

  • This story could have had such a different ending: Guy goes in to rob a Pompano Beach cell-phone store only to have the clerk start preaching about Jesus. He admits he's got only a BB gun, needs $300 to stave off eviction -- and leaves. Take that, atheists. [Sun-Sentinel]
  • In the first half of 2010, South Florida had the most foreclosures of any metro area in the country. That's right. We beat everyone. So while you're riding your bike to work from the abandoned shipping container you call home, pump a fist in the air and let everyone know: "WE'RE NUMBER ONE!" [Sun-Sentinel]

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  • Mini-lobster season update: One guy hospitalized with the bends, four more arrested for trying to take too many or too shrimpy critters. One man dead of a heart attack. Cue that old song by 10cc, "The Things We Do for Bugs." [Palm Beach Post]
  • Forty-four folks in Palm Beach County charged with taking fake tax returns to a Liberty Tax Service location and obtaining real refunds. The firm -- which paid out about $80,000 to the scammers -- didn't notice the tomfoolery until April 15 or so. Apparently, you don't want to use your real name and Social Security number when getting down with racketeering and fraud. [Palm Beach Post]
  • The Miami Herald is reporting that a Wilton Manors woman contracted dengue during a visit to Key West. Not only didn't she read the warnings (which were all over the papers a few weeks ago), she said she'd "never heard of dengue fever before." She also said it was the worst ten days of her life. It's not nicknamed "bone-break fever" for nothing. She read a story in the paper only when -- gasp! -- it was too late. [Miami Herald]
  • Police are still trying to find out how six people were shot at a Fort Lauderdale nightclub last night. The bar, on Powerline between Oakland Park and Sunrise, was surrounded by cops earlier this morning. [Miami Herald]

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