4

Mug-Shot Friday: Hieroglyphics, a Poet, and a Guy Who Can't Do Anything Right

Welcome to the inaugural post of the Broward-Palm Beach edition of Mug-Shot Friday, a long-standing franchise focusing on the week's most eye-catching mug shots from South Florida's tat heads, tough guys, and femmes fatale. Check out Miami New Times' Riptide blog for the Miami-Dade edition.

Charged with: Out-of-state fugitive
-- Our theory: All she wanted was a new license picture. She put on the special bracelets, got in line, and right before the picture was taken the camera guy yelled, "Just kidding -- you're going to jail."

Charged with: Unknown; possibly speeding in a school zone
-- At first glance, this looked like a textbook case of Old Guy With a Soul Patch. Zoom in and BOOM, it's actually a very rare case of Old Guy With Hieroglyphics on His Face.

Charged with: Possession of marijuana, possession of a controlled substance, possession of drug equipment
-- It's about damned time they arrested that Maroon 5 guy. What isn't included in the records is that the controlled substance cops say he had was actually a big satchel of schmaltzy love songs.

Charged with: Unknown
-- Probably could have figured out what he was charged with, was too distracted by those pearly whites. Call me, Deon. I don't care that you got 9,000 traffic tickets last year.

Charged with: Possession of methadone, advertisement of drug paraphernalia
-- The eyes! The emotion! The Miami writers like to think their mug shots are better, but they'll never have this guy. This guy is a poet. This guy feels things deep down inside.

Charged with: Unknown
-- It's like this man was only rationed four eyebrows' worth of hair and he chose to spread them out all over his head. I bet there's a fifth one hiding around on the back. Also, how is it possible that Palm Beach County court records are accessible only through Internet Explorer? What is this, 1997?

Charged with: Unknown
-- I don't always want a mustache, but when I do, I want it to look just like this fella's.

Charged with: Disobeying a stop/yield sign, possession of marijuana
-- BREAKING NEWS -- Teddy bear comes alive, smokes grass, runs stop sign: TONIGHT AT 11.

Charged with: Possession of marijuana, possession of drug paraphernalia, driving with a suspended license (second offense), driving with expired registration, operating an unsafe or improperly equipped vehicle
-- Saddest mug shot we ever done saw. Poor guy just wanted to go to the store and got busted driving a bad car with a bad license and bad registration. Can't do anything right these days.


New Times on Facebook | Twitter 
The Pulp on Facebook | Twitter 
Rich Abdill on Facebook | Twitter | Email

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.

Newsletters

All-access pass to the top stories, events and offers around town.

  • Top Stories
    Send: