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Mug-Shot Monday: Amish Gangsters Are Prowling the Streets

You spoke, we listened. Back by popular demand, welcome to this week's Mug-Shot Monday, a longstanding franchise focusing on the week's most eye-catching mugs from South Florida's tat heads, tough guys, derp faces, and femmes fatale.

Lookatthatprettyboy, Lookatthatprettyprettybooooyy Long rumored in the cannabis community, we finally seem to have the first evidence of the strain of marijuana that when smoked, reduces one, completely, to infancy.

I Ain't Ever Punched a Tourist Even If He Deserved It An amish with a 'tude? You know that's unheard of. This straight-outta-Lancaster tough guy here is probably the hardest G-Thang to rock a Amish beard since Henry David Thoreau.

"I Declare This Meeting of the Midnight Society Open." "And when the campers arrived back at the cabin, they couldn't find their counselors anywhere. And then, they found the the butcher's knife stabbed into the bathroom wall . . ."

Neard Grande I've seen some neck beards in my day, but that sucker needs to be combed and checked for lice.

C-Minus C-Note Dude, you couldn't have just sprung for a tattoo artist with a steady hand? Someone who's stuff didn't look like an Etch A Sketch after a good hard shake? Not sending a baller status signal here, my friend.

Completely Innocent "Oh no, not me. I don't have a gram of a schedule one substance shoved up my ass for safe keeping. Nope not at all. I always look like this."

3.14159265 This is the face of a man who has whittled a lot of wooden figurines based on characters from Final Fantasy VII and spent many basement hours calculating Pi.

Felt Tip Top Rumor is they're casting a Dick Tracy reboot in town.

It's Happened Again. Hate to see this. Another victim. These marauding bands of Smurfs are out there terrorizing the countryside, counting coup with spray paint.

Send your story tips to the author, Kyle Swenson.

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