You spoke, we listened. Back by popular demand, welcome to this week's Mug-Shot Monday, a longstanding franchise focusing on the week's most eye-catching mugs from South Florida's tat heads, tough guys, derp faces, and femmes fatale.
Arrested: 11/4 Alright sports fans, here's the deal: what the hell is going on with this one? Seriously, I just sat here for twenty minutes trying to come up with a plausible scenario. The best I could: he was interrupted putting on his circus clown make-up when the cops busted down the door. Anybody else? Anything?
Arrested: 11/1 Charges: Driving while under the influence. Driving under the influence -- pretty standard crime. Driving while under the influence of evil shamanistic spirits called in from the netherworld beyond -- not so much.
Arrested: 11/9 Charges: Violation of probation. The ancient Chinese have a saying: Sometimes, you wear the beard. Sometimes, the beard wears you.
Arrested: 11/10 I once was stuck on an airplane out of Denver, waiting out a snowstorm on the runway. Phish played the night before at Red Rocks. My section was filled with fans. After an hour of debating the sound quality of the '93 North American tour versus the recent European dates, someone got out an ukulele. Thus began a group sing of "Waste." Homeland security carried me off the plane in handcuffs. They eventually knocked the assault charges down to disorderly conduct, time served. Looking back, all those Phish fans, they looked exactly like this guy.
Arrested: 11/7 Some cleric error, this must be. Somebody accidently slipped a headshot from a casting call for a young dad in a Pepcid AC commercial into the mug-shot database. That, or Bobby Brady grew up, moved to South Florida, and ran into the Law.
Arrested: 11/9 Okay whatever you do . . . don't lock ey . . . damn it, it's too late. You looked into her eyes, didn't you? Alright, I'll go around back, grab a newborn goat and a bushel of thyme. We'll have this curse cleared up in no time.
Arrested: 11/8 Charges: Battery. I'm pretty sure I've seen this face before on the album sleeve of a Japanese import Smiths single from the Meat is Murder era.
Arrested: 11/10 "Well the flaming skull on the Adam's Apple is a great start, Jane. But what really propels this mug to the next level is the attention to detail. The judges love that. See how the cheek work echoes the lines of the neck? Or the cross end compliments the beard? Beautiful integrated design overall, no question. Sure, I'm no judge, Jane. But in my book, this is a sure 10.0."
Arrested: 11/1 Ladies and gents, we're proud to announce our first Mug-Shot Monday Match-Making Special. After scouring the South Florida penal system, we think we've found the right lady here for are last contestant above. This lovely lass seems to have the right elan to keep up with our previous mug.
You guys have been great this morning, so we're going to give you a special encore: the White Supremacist Bonus Round.
Arrested: 11/5 Charges: Disorderly intoxication in public. Just a reminder that there are still people out there trying to pull a Charles Manson.
Keep New Times Broward-Palm Beach Free... Since we started New Times Broward-Palm Beach, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of South Florida, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering South Florida with no paywalls.