Keep New Times Free
| Lists |

Mug-Shot Monday: Seinfeld Chest-Shaving Tips, Reverse Mullets, Child Stars Gone Wrong

You spoke, we listened. Back by popular demand, welcome to this week's Mug-Shot Monday, a longstanding franchise focusing on the week's most eye-catching mugs from South Florida's tat heads, tough guys, derp faces, and femmes fatale.

Chic Prison Wear for the Fashion-Forward Inmate Wow. A whole lot of plunging neckline in this jumper. From what we hear, this was like the J-Lo dress of Cell Block B -- immediately polarizing, spurring great debate and legions of imitators.

If You're Going to Sport Hard Chest Tats, You Probably Want to Shave. But Beware... JERRY: Are you nuts? I don't want her to think I'm one of those low-rise-briefs guys who shaves his chest. KRAMER: You can't keep this up. Don't you know what's going to happen? Every time you shave it, it's going to come in thicker and fuller and darker.

The Starfish The police are currently looking for this guy. Last seen: playing space tuba at the Mos Eisley Cantina.

New 'Do This is kind of the flip side of your standard white-trash mullet: party up top, business down below. At Supercuts, they call it the pineapple.

You're Killing Me Smalls It's a real shocker when you realize the kid passed out on the end of the couch who you've been sniffing paint thinner with all day was the chubby sidekick in your favorite kid flick.

Hunting Season Got to love a woman in camo.

Rodrigo, the Wheelman The cops have been tracking down the Bowery Boys 2.0 for years. The intel in the file says most of the gang members were wash-outs from Lower East Side garage rock bands circa 2005. Then the scene went bust. In need for money for expensive salon appointments, almond butter and Russian-lingerie model girlfriends, a number of guys banded together, began hitting banks. They never looked back.

"If You Don't Stop, I'm Going to Pull This Bus Over." I've seen this look before. For sure. Sixth grade. Morning bus route. Miss Jane, the driver. Catching me slapping little Paulie Daniels across the back of the neck. You don't fuck with this look. Miss Jane wasn't wearing a shirt either, which looking back... was a little strange...

Send your story tips to the author, Kyle Swenson.

I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of South Florida and help keep the future of New Times free.

Keep New Times Broward-Palm Beach Free... Since we started New Times Broward-Palm Beach, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of South Florida, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering South Florida with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.


Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in South Florida.


Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in South Florida.