^
Keep New Times Free
4
| Lists |

Mug-Shot Monday: Something Funny Is Happening Behind the Camera

You spoke; we listened. Back by popular demand, welcome to this week's Mug-Shot Monday, a longstanding franchise focusing on the week's most eye-catching mugs from South Florida's tat heads, tough guys, derp faces, and femmes fatale.

Just Clowin' Around Your eyes do not deceive. That appears to be some clown make-up still caked around this jester's face. And . . . uh . . . that might be some white face paint crusted there in his nostrils, right? Sure. Face paint. White, powdery face paint. Also, he seems a little freaked out by whatever is happening behind the camera.

"Barber, Give Me Something Like Luke at the Battle of Yavin." It's getting hard here to make esoteric Star Wars-based jokes when the guy you're talking about seems completely distracted by whatever is going on behind the camera . . .

Alright, Enough. What the flapjack is going on back there? This is like the suitcase in Pulp Fiction, it's really screwing up the plot not knowing what the big deal is.

Book By It's Cover If this guy doesn't either have an MFA in some studio art or a deep knowledge of craft beer, I don't know how to read a face.

"Yeah I'm Lookin' At You" And she definitely likes what she's seeing.

Ax Hero Pretty sure I saw this guy shredding monster riffs in a alternative rock band opening up for Lit on their '97 East Coast spin.

The Unbearable Strain of Being the Sexist Man in the Room . . . . . . with a whole lot of nasty clustered on your lips. Sure, every women in sight likes what she sees, until she gets within smoochin' range, then has visions of all the cover-up it's gonna take to hide that crop of cold sores.

The LOEPE The LOEPE: Beloved character from the work of Dr. Seuss. Stands for, Life of Everyfucking Party Ever.

Send your story tips to the author, Kyle Swenson.



I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of South Florida and help keep the future of New Times free.

Keep New Times Broward-Palm Beach Free... Since we started New Times Broward-Palm Beach, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of South Florida, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering South Florida with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.

 

Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in South Florida.

 

Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in South Florida.