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Mug-Shot Monday: The Lost Scott Baio Love Child, A Madden Badass, Turkey Day Hangover

You spoke, we listened. Back by popular demand, welcome to this week's Mug-Shot Monday, a longstanding franchise focusing on the week's most eye-catching mugs from South Florida's tat heads, tough guys, derp faces, and femmes fatale.

Holy Terrible Facial Hair, Batman! True, Pink Beard doesn't slot too high in the ranking of ominous supervillain names. That said, we can still imagine this guy booking across a rooftop with Adam West hot on his tail, a couple BOOMs and KABANGs in the near future.

The Dark Side of Jah Punting the 9-to-5, smoking Colorado-dispensary quality weed every day, growing those root-like dreds and just generally giving zero fucks is attractive and all, but the rasta lifestyle has consequences. This girl seems like she's just smacked into them.

Mom, Who is My Dad? If this is your son, you can really only wait so many years until it's pretty obvious. Ask us, it's better to fess up about that night Scott Baio came to town as soon as Junior's balls drop. Best prep him early for all those Charles in Charge jokes he'll be fielding forevermore.

Herrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeee's Johhhhhhhhhhhnnnnnny! Many an inmate has tried for the Shining-era Jack. Few have succeeded.

The Scourge of the Deke House This guy's alleged crime? Being a total unbeatable badass at Madden.

When the Cute Face Stops Working If I had a nickel for every time I squeaked clean of some small-change broken rule back when I was kid with a face like this, I'd have enough money for a McDonald's hash brown. This bro, though, definitely had better luck than me, so much so he's never stopped using it. I mean, look at that face? How do you indict a face like that on criminal charges?

Miss Mug-Shot 2013 Folks, after a lot of deliberation, our panel has finally decided which of our finalists will wear this year's crown. Alright, ladies and gentlemen, 2013's Miss Mug-Shot, winner of an all paid trip to Panama City, Florida, a 2011 Mustang, and a year free pass to Hollywood Tan, is . . .

Your Second Cousin (By Marriage) On Mom's Side Hey guess what? It's Thanksgiving at Nana's, you've already had too much of that Publix-brand white wine, and you just got your seating assignment.

Friday November 29, 2013 Because, after the turkey day blow out, you're going to feel like this lady looks. Happy Holidays.

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