Naked Man Arrested on Florida Golf Course

A man in southwest Florida was arrested for running around naked on a golf course and wreaking all kinds of havoc and ballyhoo with his nakedness.

According to Pasco Sheriff's Office deputies, the unidentified man ran around a Tarpon Springs golf course early Tuesday morning, completely nude.

He also appeared to be quite the slippery one, eluding cops and even sideswiping a deputy's car.

No, not with his penis, silly. 

With his van.

According to police, the man ran into a convenience store and allegedly assaulted an employee. He then jumped into his van, and the cops gave chase.

During the ensuing chase, the man sideswiped a patrol car with the van.

Cops eventually caught the man and arrested him on several charges, including battery and aggravated fleeing to elude.

No reason was given as to why the man was naked or why he attacked a convenience-store clerk naked or why he ran around a golf course naked or why he drove like a crazy person in his van, naked.

We're no Sherlocks, but we're going to go ahead and say it was probably drugs.

Lots and lots of drugs.

KEEP NEW TIMES BROWARD-PALM BEACH FREE... Since we started New Times Broward-Palm Beach, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of South Florida, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Chris Joseph
Contact: Chris Joseph