Some say there really is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allowed to live.
Yet when the Boy Scouts voted last week to allow gay scouts in the organization, it proved that Norris -- in real life, an outspoken conservative who has advocated the exclusion of gay kids -- cannot kill off everything he disdains.
But since parts of America are not a democracy but a Chucktatorship, Norris may still get his dream of having an organization that's biased against certain children. A splinter scouting group is being formed, and dagnabbit, they ain't lettin' any gay kids in.
In response to the decision of the Boy Scouts of America, OnMyHonor.Net was created with the goal of forming an alternative group of scouts who disallow homosexuality. John Stemberger, an Orlando area attorney, a lifetime member of the National Eagle Scout Association, and a noted homophobe, is behind it.
When Boys Scouts of America decided to admit gay children (though gay leaders are still excluded), he called it "a very sad day for America."
Stemberger, who was named president of the Florida Family Policy Council in 2004 and one of Orlando Magazine's top 50 most powerful people in Central Florida in 2009, is now taking taking suggestions on his site for his new organization.
You can already tell this group is going to be really cool, hip, fun, and "with it" by the names that have been suggested, which so far include:
Sons of Bravery
Faith Based Boys (Yes, let's incorporate the church because, you know, nothing gay ever happened there.)
Reformed Scouts of America
Traditional Scouters of America (TSA... Sharing an acronym with the people who pat you down and violate you before you board aircraft.)
Surely, kids will be clamoring to be a part of this thing.